LETTING GO OF GRIEF

Last night I laid in bed
focusing on the spirit of my good friend.
I thought, “If only I could let her know
that I was praying for her,
then she would be revived
and her hope would grow.”

It was just then, when
I began to enter into a lucid dream.
Wondering if I could wake her,
as I wandered away from me.

If only I could whisper funny things
into her ear,
then she would surely awake
and give me her smile,
the one that always brings me such cheer.

If only she could hear my voice,
then she would gain her strength
her spirit would rejoice
and in our joy we would dance!

If only I could lay my hands
on her beautiful head,
then the Holy Spirit would send his power,
and make her heart beat again.

These were the thoughts
that passed through my head
while I was laying in my bed
grieving my friend.

But before I could leave my mind
and transpire on the wind,
I heard the Holy Spirit say,
“You turn around - that dream is not from me!”

Suddenly,
the Lord reminded me
of Ezekiel,
the prophet he called a man,
and how he was not allowed
to grieve the wife he loved.

The word came upon him,
and this is what he said,
“With one blow I am about to take away
from you the delight of your eyes.
Do not lament.  Do not cry.
If you must groan, do it quietly.
Do not mourn for the dead
instead focus in on me.
Keep your turban fastened
and your sandals on your feet;
do not veil your face
or eat a widow's meal.”

While I’m not a prophet
like Ezekiel,
I am a woman who has learned
to obey the Creator of this world.

In obedient submission,
I knew just what to do.
Listen to your God,
he always speaks the truth.

If the angel of death should come
to take the one I love,
I will submit my will to God
the one in whom I trust.

He said,
“You may pray for my will to be done,
but you must never act as if you are the one, 
for there is only one who gives life, 
and that is Jesus, my Son.

I said,
“But Lord, you’ve given me your Spirit to heal,
so why can’t I ride on the back of your heels?”

He said,
“Oh my sweet child, you do not understand,
mortal death was never in my plan.
As soon as humans ate from the knowledgeable tree,
I had a plan to redeem you eternally back to me.
I chose my Son, Yeshua, to be your heavenly King.
I chose my Son, Yeshua, to be your heavenly priest.
It’s through our heavenly reign
that you are adopted into our Kingdom.
It’s through our bodily sacrifice
that you are covered under our blood.
So do not falter,
by calling out in fear.
Do not seek a vehicle
that you alone can steer.
Remain in Me,
and I will remain in you.
Your friend is coming to Heaven,
for she is one of my fruits."

Father God, I know that your will is being done.  
Father God, help me not to be undone. 
Father God, the grief is a major burden for me to bear. 
But Father God I believe that someday
my friend and I will again
have laughter
and stories to share.

In memory of my friend, Patti, who went to live with Jesus on May 13, 2020.