I remember when I was 12 years old,
my mom and step dad had a fight.
All I heard were vicious attacks
coming from their mouths
and from their hands.
The storm was coming in so fast,
I didn’t know how to control it.
I ran to my room and fell on my bed,
And yelled out to God
to make the sounds stop.
The thunder and lightning
that filled my head,
were completely gone
in less than a second.
All of sudden,
silence filled my room,
in a way that I
had never experienced before.
It was as if a blanket of peace
had dropped over me,
and all I wanted to do was rest beneath it.
In that moment,
I knew God had come,
in the most translucent form of peace.
I stood up
and looked outside my window
and saw the most beautiful
It was right before the sun went down,
but it appeared as if it was dusk to dawn.
It was only a minute
before the sounds came back,
but if felt like a lifetime had passed.
I remember feeling
as if the cares of the world
had been taken off my back.
In that moment I realized that
God had come into my room.
His presence was so intense -
that I spent the rest of my life
chasing after Him.
Later on, I went to college
to become a counselor,
and for my electives
I took all kinds of religious classes.
I attempted to find the Spirit of God
that had fell upon me.
I figured if I searched long enough,
studying the major religions of the world,
then I would surely be able to identify
the One who found me.
I was filled with so much knowledge
that I doubted myself,
and denounced the experience
to a traumatic hallucination.
But God never quit on me.
When I was just 23,
the Lord put a desire in my heart,
He said, “Read My Word”
and “Come and Find Me.”
So I responded to God’s voice,
and did as He said.
It was my birthday and I asked for a gift,
that would forever change my life.
I received a Bible and began to read,
but it made no sense to me.
I asked a woman who loved God,
to teach me what to do.
She said lay your hand on the Bible
and ask God to guide you.
“You are His daughter,
He will certainly help you.”
What started as a mustard seed of faith,
has grown abundant inside of me,
and now I am pregnant with His Word.
Holy Spirit has fathered
the sweetest fruit,
a peace that surpasses
And as I reflect back on my life,
I see how God has been leading me
to get on the boat to go to the other side;
from Mt. Sinai, the physical law,
to Mt. Zion, where there is spiritual freedom -
as described in Hebrews 12.
My life of running in circles
and constant chaos
has been replaced
with balanced vision.
And the vessel I once used to lay in,
has been replaced with new wine skin.
“Then Jesus got into the boat
and started across the lake
with his disciples.
Suddenly, a fierce storm
struck the lake,
with waves breaking into the boat.
But Jesus was sleeping.”
“The disciples went and woke him up,
shouting, “Lord, save us!
We’re going to drown!”
“Why are you afraid?
You have so little faith!”
Then he got up
and rebuked the wind and waves,
and suddenly there was a great calm.
The disciples were amazed.
“Who is this man?” they asked.
“Even the winds and waves
Yes there are still times
when I get super frustrated,
there are even times
when I begin to doubt.
There are times,
when I get overwhelmed
but it's usually when I'm relying on self
instead of trusting God.
Instead of focusing on Him,
I focus on the storm.
But then I close my eyes,
the new Jerusalem that lies ahead -
the land of Eden Restored.
And then I feel the blanket of peace
that fell upon me when I was just 12 years old.
There is nothing in this world
to the Holy Spirit covering you
with His love.