The fractured mind
is far from free. It sits in the space of insanity. Obscure thoughts wander around the trees within the Jungle of FEAR and ANXIETY. When FEAR takes hold it can cause me to dread... "What's in the murky waters of where I now tread?" "What negative thoughts are lurking in my head?" "Why can't I escape the monster I have wed?" I must be on alert when I hear a sound, he may reach out to grab me, and pull me underground. Twisty thoughts entrap, causing me to trip - these distorted thoughts become my daily fix. Tricks - everywhere They do not go away! They get me off the path and cause me to stray! CONFUSION constantly fills my head! I can not focus on anything but RED! The bad becomes the good, and the good becomes bad. My mind is turning inside out - I've become the walking dead. Round and round I go, draining in a dream, RUMINATING through a conscious stream. DELUSIONS bubble up on top - My heart begins to race and it will not stop. DANGER comes into the light. The only response I have is to freeze, flee or fight. PANIC ATTACK My breath begins to fade My eyes dilate, I think I'm going to faint. I wish I had wings, so I could fly away. I'd find the nearest hole to escape and hide away. Since I'm not a bird, and only have my feet. I'll run like hell to avoid having to face constant defeat. I'm always on the lookout for the great escape - the problem is I don't know what is real or what is fake. DISTRESS my mind is such a mess! Twisty thoughts inside my head rob me of my sleep! EXHAUSTED I can barely open my eyes, but at the same time, I just can not rest! I can not eat. My stomach begins to turn. Acid is released, my throat is beginning to burn. Get out of my way, I think I'm going to hurl! What the hell is happening to me? Does no one see, the struggle inside of me? HELP! Save me from myself. Someone cut the cord of my ANXIETY! FEAR and OVERWHELM, it's more than I can take. Help me get out of my head, for goodness sake! This jungle that I'm in, is not just a dream. It's the Land of Fear and Dread living inside my head! Everywhere I turn another arm extends FEAR it fills my fucking head! I think I'm going insane, and I don't know what to do. I'm running around in circles, and I'm so confused. I think I'm going to explode if I continue to digest these upsetting thoughts taking over my conscious. Everything is bad. Where can I find good? Encouragement does not work when you speak to me in "shoulds"! If I could, don't you think I would? Your constant criticism shows me that I'm totally misunderstood. Worry about nothing - this is what you say. Take a deep breath, and focus on today. You must begin to pray, this is what you say - God will heal your mind, and show you the way. Oh, how I must be astray because I do leaves me more LOST and AFRAID. God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. If I must walk through this jungle of darkness, help me to fear no evil through your rod and your staff. Comfort me. Shelter me in your presence. Heal me from these thoughts that keep me in my mess. Renew a right spirit, and remove the darkness. Create in me a clean heart, that only in you exists. I will stand ready, to hold onto you Lord. I will open up my Bible and take in your Word. "Do not be anxious, about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me." I will give you peace, which transcends all understanding, I will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 I now see, what I must do. I must sit and rest, and patiently wait for you. I will continue to believe in the truth, that I am your child who you want to soothe. Play your harp for me let me listen in my head, I choose to trust your Spirit, instead of the tormenting spirit of dread. I will focus on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, I will think about these things. Philippians 4:8 You were designed for perfect peace. Take his yoke upon you, and experience his ease. Matthew 11:28-29
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