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The Tragedy of Trauma It’s really a terrible thing to think about the travesties that hurt our souls time and time again. Twisted lies intertwined with terrific obscenities. Tortuous thoughts thundering inside our heads - causing our brains to bleed. Basic hygiene hijacked by survival mode instead - compassionate care and kindness becomes all but dead. Red alert - All the time ringing in our head, how could we possibly pay attention to anything else instead? Throbbing pressure pushing down. Killer migraines embed. Hallucinations replace our dreams - waves of sanity thread. If our body was on fire, wouldn’t we run, or would we take the time to look around and try to have some fun? Wouldn’t we become delirious and begin to bounce off the floor, instead of doing as we should and run straight out the door. If we were shot and our killer was still chasing us, would we stop to care for our wound, or continue to run, overwhelmed and totally consumed? The answer seems so obvious when our body is under attack. But no one seems to understand when our mental health slacks. The person whose been scared almost beyond repair, will avoid the truth at any cost just so their life will be spared. It’s the greatest form of delusion a person can endure. To know they are mentally ill and feel like there’s no cure. They will try to make a way to live and just exist. Even when help is right in front of them - they will continue to object. If you make me face my fear, you will send me to my death. I will panic in distress and lose my very breath. Don’t make me look at the thing that causes me such pain. Are you trying to feed the monster and give it strength again? You want me to pretend there is absolutely nothing wrong, when on the inside I’m about to EXPLODE! I want to be free from these memories, but I don’t know what to do. They come faster than I can think, and become my very truth. I am a slave to my own body - the body that keeps the score. How can I escape when Trauma has made me his whore? I don’t want to be married to this thing anymore. I hate how he controls me, and rips me to my core. If I could wish for anything, it would be to kill this thing that's killing me. I'm stuck in his grip, and I don't know how to fight back. I want to escape, the thing that I most hate. Help me. Heal me. Make me right again. Help me. Heal me. Bring clarity to my head.
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April 2022
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