Praise the Lord, my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God." Psalm 146
Yesterday, I waited for stomach hunger. It was minimal stomach hunger, but it was still stomach hunger! I had a small growl and my stomach felt empty. I ate a salad, hummus, carrots and pita chips. A few hours later, I had an apple. Everything was great...but then..."think about it"... "weigh the choices" ... give in to the same lie that I always fall into..."just one cookie." Yup! I ate one tantalizing cookie which led to another. Then, I stayed at work to help with leadership team duties, and I was faced with bowls of candy, platters of cookies and pizza! After fasting, waiting for stomach hunger and choosing a healthy lunch and snack, I ate 2 cookies, banana bread, 2 pieces of pizza, 1 chicken wing and 16 ounces of Pepsi! When in the hell am I going to learn?!?!
This is why I am writing this blog! I am determined to change my mindset. Yet, every single moment of every single day is a ridiculous struggle! Some people may think I am crazy! So many people, including my husband, say, "Just do it!" Just decide to only put healthy foods into your mouth, and then do it! I wonder if this is what people addicted to drugs and alcohol go through? The pull towards a particular substance, despite the negative consequences, is so intense and so habitual it's absurd! It makes absolutely no sense, yet it's pervasive! My heart goes out to anyone fighting a battle with addiction, especially when addicted to MAD - the modern american diet!
Today, my only objective related to my food addiction journey is to NOT EAT Christmas cookies, donuts, breads, pastries or chocolate candies! Lord help me!